The Boomer's Guide to Aging Parents provides practical information on topics that aren't always covered in depth in other books. Although author Carolyn Rosenblatt is a retired attorney, her book doesn't cover the legal aspects of caring for an aging parent. Rosenblatt was also a nurse for 10 years and she uses her unique background to help the children of aging parents navigate a number of issues they are likely to encounter.
For example, Rosenblatt discusses unsafe driving, with recommendations on how to start a conversation about driving and what to do if an unsafe driver won't get off the road. Other topics include how to choose a home care worker; the ins and outs of assisted living, including information on how to get a loved one to move; how to choose a nursing home; finding a care manager; handling money for loved ones, including a discussion of durable powers of attorney; avoiding family conflicts; how to find a good lawyer; and how to advocate for a parent in the current health care system.
Each chapter ends with practical tips that summarize the important information. Although it is not cheap, this easy-to-read book is packed with information that anyone caring for an aging parent will find helpful. This book provides a guide to the legal and ethical aspects of caring for a family member with Alzheimer's disease.
When someone dies, they leave behind memories of them, and lots of other things as well. This book deals with those other thi A journalist who covers retirement security issues has written a manual packed with strategies for achieving a happy and fulf Need more information? Views Total views. Actions Shares. Embeds 0 No embeds. No notes for slide. These examples cover situations that can be addressed early, as well as those that have reached a crisis level.
The scenarios and responses were developed by Home Instead Senior Care, based on real-life experiences, and with input from communication expert and author Jake Harwood, Ph. Home Instead Senior Care research forms the foundation for this guide. The company interviewed 1, U. The fact that many of these families still operate according to a parent-child model rather than a peer-to-peer one makes these conversations particularly difficult.
Table of Contents Introduction to the Rule The Rule - A Guide to Conversation Starters for Boomers and Their Senior Loved Ones4 The Rule - A Guide to Conversation Starters for Boomers and Their Senior Loved Ones 5 A list of communication tips provided in this guide is intended to help adult children of aging parents surmount this obstacle and pave the way for better communication and a more fulfilling relationship.
Seven Tips to Help Boomer Children Communicate With Their Aging Parents Many adult children of aging adults know how difficult it can be to talk with their parents about certain topics. Get started. Talk it out. Approach your parents with a conversation. If your parents acknowledge the situation, ask what they think would be good solutions. Sooner is best. Talk sooner rather than later when a crisis has occurred.
If you know your loved one has poor eyesight or has trouble driving at night, begin to address those issues before a problem arises. Forget the baby talk. Remember you are talking to an adult, not a child. Patronizing speech or baby talk will put older adults on the defensive and convey a lack of respect for them. Maximize independence. Always try to move toward solutions that provide the maximum amount of independence for the older person.
Look for answers that optimize strengths and compensate for problems. For instance, if your loved ones need help at home, look for tools that can help them maintain their strengths. Professional caregiving services, such as those offered by Home Instead Senior Care, provide assistance in a number of areas including meal preparation, light housekeeping or medication reminders.
Or find friends who can help. Be aware of the whole situation. Make sure that your mom has friends and a social life. Ask for help. Many of the issues of aging can be solved by providing parents with the support they need to continue to maintain their independence. For Sensitive Senior Subjects To help adult children of older adults know what to say, following are various scenarios of common senior topics. Responses were developed in cooperation with Jake Harwood, Ph. When Health Changes Lifestyles Your year-old widowed mother has just been diagnosed with macular degeneration, a disease that causes deterioration of eyesight.
How do you begin a conversation with her about the possible ramifications of this disease on her life? Many seniors in this situation might begin the conversation with family themselves. If not, then it would be good to think about her personal circumstances and important areas to address. For example, if your mother lives in a remote area, transportation is probably the most immediate issue.
Read The Boomer's Guide To Aging Parents Vol. 1: How to Handle a Dangerous Older Driver Book
Approach the conversation with the goal of trying to resolve this one issue, rather than multiple issues. Timing is the key. There are rarely urgent deadlines that have to be met immediately — give yourself and your parent time to think about issues. A neighbor of your year-old dad has called to tell you he saw your father back his car into a light pole. What do you say?
Take the opportunity to drive with your parent. For instance, an older adult who consciously reduces driving at night because of vision issues or who drives a little slower to account for reaction time is probably safe. On the other hand, an year-old who insists on driving icy highways at night while doing 75 mph is probably in need of immediate intervention. Then gear your comments accordingly. What do you do?
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The embarrassment that you feel is your problem, not hers. Chances are, though, if she knows you are apprehensive about the dress and willing to help her find a new one, she will agree. Observation and careful attention to the problem should be your first course of action. Avoid diagnosing a problem and deciding on a solution quickly. Approach your mother with a sense of working together to find a solution rather than telling her what to do.
The specific circumstances — such as financial constraints — may be relevant.
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Is the problem simply that your mother is physically challenged by strenuous housework or is she deteriorating mentally? Does she just need help tidying up around the house or are other aspects of her personal care, such as bathing, going downhill? What do you say we find someone to help you with the heavy stuff, like vacuuming? It will be my treat.
And most communities have ample resources such as cleaning services and companies like Home Instead Senior Care that can help. A Senior Moment or Something More? More importantly, how do you find out? Research: The most difficult topic for adult children to discuss with their aging parents was that they have to leave their home. You wonder how he is keeping all of his medications straight.
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What do you ask? If the response includes the reasons you suspected above, then it sounds like things are under control. I do my best. As the oldest of five children in the family, how do you approach your siblings? What other resources can you tap into? Siblings can be a good reality check. Have you noticed anything? Perhaps all the parents need is a little extra assistance. A geriatric care manager also can be of benefit. How do you find out?
Bruising is a complicated issue. On one hand, bruising occurs more easily in older people; sometimes especially with certain medications bruising can occur without any injury, fall or impact of any kind. Research: Nearly three- fourths 71 percent of respondents said it would be helpful to involve siblings in talking with parents, while nearly half 49 percent said seeking counsel from a senior-care professional would be useful. On the other hand — and at the other extreme — repeated bruising might indicate either falling or some other form of physical trauma e.
Of course, these two considerations lead to completely different solutions. However, if the bruising is significant she might want to consider medication adjustments. Ask her to consult her doctor. In the second case, intervention is clearly needed. Has the increase in bruising occurred at the same time as some other change in her life?